Friday, February 1, 2008

Self Discovery

Something happened. I got caught up in the day-to-day. I don’t even know who I am anymore. This reality just hit me like a ton of bricks. I often feel like life becomes a routine and I lose sight of my goals, I lose sight of myself, and I plateau. I think when I hear something over and over again it becomes so ingrained in me that I stop attaching meaning to it. And this is what I need to overcome. I need to find real meaning. I need to center myself and take a deep look at what’s under the skin. What defines me? What drives me, inspires me, motivates me? What am I passionate about, if anything? What are my beliefs and why are they so? What do I value? How strong is my faith? What experiences and ideas have brought me to this point? What am I good at? What do I know to be true without a doubt? These are all questions that need to be answered before I can feel very confident and comfortable with myself. This is going to be a year of reflection and learning. A year of self discovery. And hopefully a process that will allow much growth to come of it. There are some parts of myself that I have tucked away for too long because I was afraid. I want to be more fearless. I want to learn to embrace my quirks and idiosyncrasies instead of hiding them away shamefully. I want to stop relying so heavily on opinions that don’t matter. I want to find out who I really am. I know this sounds crazy, like why shouldn’t I know myself after almost 26 years? But I don’t. I’m determined to figure it out though. So, the quest begins.


5 comments:

RAZ said...

When I feel lost, I go to my happy place:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KDwODbl3muE

Mike said...

me too!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2x2W12A8Qow

Woot Woot

J said...

well thank you very much boys.

Anonymous said...

Actually I thought this was a very insightful post. More people should take the time to get to know themselves better. The world is so full of being - well - the world, and we are so busy making a living that many of us forget to actually live. Like President Hinckley said, "Life's a journey, enjoy the ride!"

After 51 years I am still working on figuring out who I am and what makes me tick. It changes from day to day, anyway it seems like it does, but I have learned to be flexible for others. However there are some things that don't really change as much as they grow more set and solid. Like a tree sending down roots that are ever deeper. One of those is my faith in the Lord. Without Him I am nothing, and with Him anything is possible.
Also, my love for my family grows and grows all the time. I would do anything for any of them. Really! They are the light of my life and the jewels in my crown. When it comes down to the wire, life is all about family.

love ya!

J said...

thanks gramma rose, for taking my post seriously. actually, a few people commented outside of this blog saying that they thought it was a negative post and wondered if i was "okay." it was never meant to be negative. i was just trying to emphasize the fact that life does get busy sometimes and that it's easy to lose perspective or even find time to just think and ponder about what's truly important. it's been awhile since i really evaluated my life, ambitions, and who i am. so, i've made a goal to take some "alone" time once a day in order to maintain a sense of balance and i guess to kind of get to know myself. ya know, just think about what i hope to be someday and accomplish throughout my lifetime. that should be a positive thing, right?