Every year it seems like my purse gets bigger and bigger. And there it is everywhere I go. Not a cute little designer handbag. Not a fashion statement in the least. Just a big, bulky annoyance slung over one shoulder. It weighs me down, it gets in the way, and it's just one more thing to haul around when I go out. But the other day I wanted to drop off lunch at Mike's office, and right then I decided I was just going to take the essentials. So I slipped my driver's license in my back pocket, grabbed my keys and the boy child, and I was off. I've never felt so free! No big bag to whack against my thigh or bothersome strap to cut at my neck. What joy I felt! When I got home I dumped the contents of my bag on the bed to find out what could go. Here's what was inside:
*3 checkbooks (one for my own personal account, our joint account, and the new account we just opened. who uses checks anymore anyway? I mean, seriously?)
*1 big wallet (besides money, it's just full of useless stuff. old library cards, an expired TRAX pass, numerous business cards for people I don't even know...)
*hand sanitizer (this has actually been useful)
*cell phone (like every other American in the country, where would I be without my celly cell?)
*keys (okay, gotta have these, although the countless, tacky keychains take up more room than the keys do.)
*3 tubes o' lip gloss (various flavors. maybe just one tube of chapstick will suffice, ya think?)
*tweezers (you know, if I'm ever in need of eliminating those pesty, freakishly out of control brow hairs while at the check out line in the grocery store)
*fingernail clippers (I bite my nails, so why do I even need these?)
*giant saftey pin (I have no idea where I got this pin, but it is enormous.)
*hand lotion (gotta stay moisturized)
*comb (man, I'm such a girly girl. I'm always primping)
*dental floss (after meals at restaurants, I won't be caught dead flashing a smile to anyone until I've made sure there's no food particles in my grill. so I better keep this in the bag)
*compact mirror (you must think I'm so egotistical)
*notepad (for jotting down notes)
*pens (also for jotting down notes. I suppose I could part with all but one of these)
*vessel's immunization card (why that's even in there, I don't know)
*sunglasses (the big 50's movie star kind)
*gum (dirty mouth? clean it up with Orbits)
*tylenol (sometimes pain relief is a necessity)
*spare change (it makes my purse jingle jangle and it drives me mad!)
*receipts (have you noticed that so many stores give you this ridiculously long receipt even if you only bought 2 or 3 things? they eventually just tangle and coil around everything else in the purse)
*take-a-long perfume (psh, ya never know)
*candy (I've got such a sweet tooth)
*a toy for vessel (gotta entertain the kids sometimes)
*stamps (for mailing those insidious letters to Bob Evans)
*gluestick (why???)
*miscellaneous articles including fortune cookie fortunes, white out, a broken necklace, a 25 cent toy from a machine, and a magazine article clipping.
My bag is taking over my life! I wish I could go back to the days when I didn't even need a purse. *sigh* Anyone want to tell me what's in your purse?
7 comments:
In my *purse* I carry 3 cameras (1 digital & 2 "toy" film), PDA, GPS, iPod, wallet, cellphone, notepad, pans, gerber tool, chapstick & lens cleaning clothes. It weights a ton. BUT I only carry my cellphone when I leave my car (case has a handy-dandy place for ID & creditcard)
I almost forgot one of my fav flickr groups!
Here goes Keys only 2 but I have 3 key holders,day planner, book (the Lovely bones havent started it yet I'll let you know how it was), paycheck stub, List of employee numbers, list of employee schedules,list of clients hours,wallet filled with same as you 3 old library cards all my kids insurance cards crap like that,cell phone,digital camera(to bad the charger isnt with it its dead),sunglasses,2 lighters,old receipts,gum wrappers, used tissues(my kids I don't want to liter)1 dollar bill and $3.11 in loose change mostly pennies,2 hair ties, lip gloss, brush, compact,pen,nail clippers, sewing kit(comical),nail polish,nail file,wipes,couple of little dolls. wow my purse is full of garbage haha.
Wow, that is a lot of stuff indeed! I used to lug around a huge purse myself, but recently I realized I didn't NEED all that crap with me at all times. So I got a little hand purse dealy and I keep my wallet, keys, comb, tylenol, asthma inhaler, floss, cellphone, mini-notebook, pen, and lipgloss in there. That's about all I ever need. Still seems like too much though. I hope you figure out someting that works for ya. I feel naked without any kind of purse with me, though, so I would freak out if I only had my license and keys with me.
Oh, and I appreciated that reference to Bob Evans :)
karen,
i knew you'd get the bob evans reference. you know, if i email him nasty threats, it can be traced. but if i send them through the mail....well, that's a different story... :)
James,
If it don't fit in your pockets you don't need it.
Auntie kim
kim,
i like your thinkin'.
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