Happiness

     My life has been so good lately. I keep thinking that I don't remember a time when I felt this content. I am finally happy with myself. Of course, some days I have struggles, which is to be expected. But for the most part, I really love this stage of my life. I am surprisingly accepting of the way things are. Some might think it would be difficult dealing with my mom being gone. The truth is, yeah, it is hard sometimes. I miss her like crazy and wish I could talk to her. I wish I could've seen the joy on her face as she experienced holding her grandson. She wanted to be a grandma more than anything in the world. It seems unfair...the timing and everything.  
     
     BUT the Lord knows why things happen when they do, and that is enough for me. I don't need all the answers. I have come to accept that. As a mortal, my view and perception is very limited, whereas God's view is infinite and beyond my capacity to comprehend. I trust Him. I know that without the gospel, my mom's death would be so much harder on me. But my testimony is strong. My faith is strong. I am excited to perform her temple work and I believe she has been preparing for that special event while in the spirit world. But anyway, I am at peace. I am okay.
     
     This summer has been the best summer I've had in years. I just feel elated. I'm in the middle of several projects right now and they keep me busy. Vessel keeps me busy too. I enjoy motherhood and it's more fulfilling than I even anticipated. Mike and I are more in love than ever. Everything is going great at his new job. I've made a lot of good friends recently. I like where we live for the time being. But most of all I'm just happy with who I am and what I'm doing for the first time in my life. I am not wishing for things to be different like I used to. I am just having a wonderful time living the life I have been blessed with.