The Best Car Accident of my Life

Last month Vessel and I were in a car accident. The day that it happened was Mike's and my anniversary. I hadn't left the house all week just because of the bitter cold and ice on the roads. I'm not a fan of snowy, icy driving conditions, so I try to avoid it when possible. But I had to go to the post office THAT day to send off a package for Christmas. The crazy thing is that I was driving carefully. I was going under the speed limit, I had both hands on the wheel, I wasn't on the phone or playing with the radio buttons or anything like that. I can't quite explain what happened. I was approaching a one way street (where the traffic goes pretty fast.) I saw the red light too late, slammed on my brakes and slid through the intersection. To be honest, I really can't explain why I didn't see the light. In fact, I don't really remember much of anything until the point I was about to ram into fast moving traffic. There's something strange that happens to a person (me) when they realize they are going to crash their car. Everything goes in slow motion. I just remember closing my eyes tight and tensing my body. And then hearing a gut wrenching "crunch" sound as my car collided with another car. After it happened, I opened my eyes and looked around. I saw pieces of blue all over the road. I saw chunks of metal and glass strewn about as the traffic continued to maneuver past us. The next thing I did was look back at Vessel. He seemed unharmed. In fact he didn't even seem scared. That was a relief, but I was still in a state of shock. I started sobbing. The person in the other car wasn't getting out of their vehicle. I started to freak out. What if I hurt them? I could not live with myself if that was the case. I called 911 and then I called Mike. Eventually I tried to get out of the car but I could not open the driver's side door. I had to climb to the passenger side to get out. I went over to the other car and the driver (a middle-aged lady) got out. I was relieved. I was bawling to her. I couldn't stop apologizing and asking her if she was okay. I really didn't care at that point if I was okay. But the thought of hurting someone else, especially my own kid, was torturing my brain. Luckily, the lady I hit was exceptionally nice about the whole incident. I was worried that some person was going to jump out of the car and start yelling at me telling me what an awful driver I was, if not a horrible person all together. But she was so sweet and very calm. And Mike wasn't mad at me either. He never once blamed anything on me or told me I was a bad driver or lost his temper. He was so kind to me and only cared that we were all okay. All of this helped a great deal.
Anyway, when the police arrived to the scene they tried to get my information but I guess I was crying so hard they couldn't really understand me. I remember one of the officers telling me to just breathe and calm down. I did calm down, but then I started thinking "What if I would've hurt or killed someone?" And the crying started all over again. After several minutes I got myself together and sat inside the police van answering questions. And that went on for awhile. Vessel was fascinated with the fire engine and the big tow truck that came to take our car away. Fortunately he wasn't traumatized by the accident. But all I could think of was "How could I do this?"
Okay, rewind a year earlier. It was October and Mike and I were in the market for a second car. With Mike and his job and school schedule and my crossing job and upcoming semester we felt like it was necessary. We started looking at used cars and some cheaper newer models. We ended up liking a new Mitsubishi Lancer ES we saw online. We went to a few dealerships, and none of them had the car we were looking for. But lo and behold, a dealership in Salt Lake had this blue beauty, a 2008 Mitsubishi Lancer GTS. Not the car we had originally set our sights on, but it was definitely an awesome car. Long story short, the Nazi car dealer convinced us to buy it. We thought it was a great idea for some reason (well at first, until the buyers remorse kicked in afterwards.) We calculated the payments and realized we could actually afford this new car. (At the time we both worked and had scholarships to pay for school, etc. etc.) So being young and silly, we got the car. And boy, was it NICE. Maybe a little too nice for my blood. I've never been into cars. I've always figured something that could get me from point A to point B would work just fine. And I don't consider myself a materialistic person. But this car was awesome. We loved it. And we took good care of it. And basically, it rocked.
Okay, now fast forward 8 months. Mike takes a job in Montana and away we go. We try to sell the car before moving in hopes of getting a different car for the Montana lifestyle. (you know, like a big beefy truck or something. :)) It didn't sell so we took it with us. We loved our car and loved driving it. But really, it wasn't made for Montana. And we soon realized that when winter came. The car had low profile tires on custom made 20" rims. It was not built to handle snow and ice. So for the last couple of months Mike and I were praying and fasting about our car situation. We had just bought our first house and with that payment along with other bills and unforeseen financial dilemmas, we thought it would be in our best interest to try to sell the car again. But with the economy the way it was, nobody was in the market to buy a car, especially not OUR car. We prayed hard that we'd be able to sell it or find a way to afford it or get another car that was better equipped for Montana weather. A few people called about the car and got our hopes up, but nothing ever came of it.
And then....the accident happened. Today I was just informed by the insurance company that they are considering it a total loss. Yup, I totaled our beautiful car. One might think that's a pretty crappy thing to happen. And it is. But here's the blessing in disguise. I think it was an answer to our prayers. I know it might sound crazy, but it has to be. With it considered a total loss, the insurance company will cut us a check for the amount of the car and we can pay it off and be relieved from our debt. And here's where things get even crazier. We had just gotten a new insurance policy. When I say "just got" I mean like a week prior to the accident. For the last 6 months of living in Montana we were still insured by a company in Utah, that unfortunately only covered Utah drivers. So if we had still been under their policy, they would not have covered our accident AT ALL. So we had barely gotten full coverage on the car for Montana. The other crazy thing is that the timing was so impeccable. I think about the accident and how it all played out. If I had been going one second faster than I was, the other lady would have T-boned our car and would've hit Vessel straight on. Heavenly Father was definitely looking out for us in that regard. Nobody got hurt. Didn't even have to go to the hospital. Looking at how messed up the car was, I'm pretty surprised nobody was injured. That fact opened my eyes to a lot of things. For the past few months before the accident I had been dealing with some serious depression issues. I'll spare the details, but I was pretty unhappy with myself as a person. The accident was kind of a wake up call for me. I say that because when I think about what could've happened, it sure could have been a lot worse. It made me realize how important life is. And how I needed to pull myself together and get out of the rut I was in. I know I must sound all dramatic, but I really do believe that. I think the accident was good in so many ways. It made me see that life could be a heck of a lot worse. If my experience wasn't divine intervention, I don't know what is. So I had this huge eye opener, and our car situation that we had been praying about was resolved. The power of prayer is amazing.
Right now I don't have a car to drive, but I'm not too upset about it. Sometimes it's hard being cooped up in the house all day. But then I have to remember how blessed we are. And by spring time Mike will be riding his bike to work and I can drive the car. And I suppose if I really wanted to I could get up early to drive Mike to work and then pick him up afterward. And maybe we'll get a cheap used car that we can afford soon. Who knows, there are a lot of options I guess.

We miss the blue car and it was great fun while it lasted. But we realize there are more important things in life than a car, even if that car is WAAAAY sweet. :)

Rest in pieces, Burple.