Thursday, April 22, 2010
Anxiety
So, I've been getting pretty nervous about this new baby. Not so much about having a new child in the house. I'm actually really excited about that part. The thing is, I'm nervous about the labor and delivery part. In fact, I'm pretty dang scared. Having a baby was one of the most frightening things I've ever gone through. And now I am going to do it all over again! I went "all natural" with Vessel (no pain meds, drugs, or epidural) and I survived and I reached my goal. But that's not to say it didn't hurt like hell. And I have a pretty high threshold for pain. Even to this day, just thinking about the pain again makes me all shaky. I even started crying to my doctor the other day. I don't have anxiety about anything else other than the pain. Now most of you might say, "Just get an epidural then!" Well, I have thought about it. But to be honest, that scares me too. I'd like to go all natural again if possible. So does anyone have any tips they could give me on how to cope with the pain? Any suggestions that might help me?
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11 comments:
i am all for an epidural, but i did get a shot of nubain and that helped take the edge off..BUT it made me incredibly loopy AND tired. You might just want to ask for some type of drug/narcotic...I have also heard that the bath is really nice.
I bet you wanted me to say something like: put on some relaxing music, focus on a picture, etc...nope, not me--drugs!
oh my gosh, DO NOT DO DRUGS - DO NOT get an epidural...I would recommend getting some library books on natural delivery and refresh your memory with the breathing and relaxation sections - seriously...any drug you get the baby also gets, and sure it hurts, but the pain ends right?
After the fiasco with actually getting an epidural with Dave (that did not work - there are no guarantees it will) and having him delivered with forceps I was terrified of having another child,(hence the 4 year gap) - but when we decided to I went and got everything I could read and became very focused on ways I could calm myself and make myself "ride the wave" of the contractions... you know each one will end and you know that they get serious just before you have that baby - so its all good - right - we'll have to talk :D
love you!!!!
have you heard about hypnobirthing? might want to check it out!
So glad you asked! Have you heard of Hypnobirthing? It teached you how to have a pain free labor and delivery...naturally. If that is really what you want, then try and find a hypnobirthing instructor in your area. I did this with Emi, and I was more relaxed during labor than I have ever been in my life. Anyway, I hope that helps! I know you'll love it!!
p.s. pain free, not really a reality I know, or at least seem like one, but you'll understand what I mean when you take classes on it or read the book.
Major Payne recommends that you have someone break your finger just before childbirth, to take your mind off the pain.
I've heard a lot about hypnobirthing too...a lady in my old ward swears by it!!!
I've heard of some method in which you give birth in a hot tub. That seems a bit adventurous and I have no idea if it helps with the pain, but it seems pretty awesome to me.
Also, there's not really anything wrong with using drugs if the pain gets to be too much. It doesn't make you less of a woman or whatever if the pain or the fear of pain is going to interfere with your ability to cope with the birth of your kid.
When Bekah had Ben she was determined to try doing it naturally, with no drugs. After nearly a day of labor with no baby, it got to be too much for her and she went through a progression of pain meds until she had her epidural done.
She went from the verge of going crazy and quitting to feeling calm and being able to concentrate on the task at hand. I've never looked back and judged her for it. It's not really something that ever comes to mind.
If you really want to do natural birth, then fire away and get pumped up and ready for it, but don't discount modern medicine as an option. The progression of medical science is an awesome blessing that we have in this modern age.
I am going to check out this hypnobirthing thing. It sounds awesome.
Chris, the hot tub thing sounds good too. I was actually considering a homebirth this time around, but our insurance wouldn't cover a homebirth. So we are having this baby in the hospital. And I don't think this hospital let's you have a water birth (unfortunately.)
As far as the other things go, I totally see what you're saying. I know that modern medicine is a huge blessing in this day and age. And I honestly don't judge anyone who's ever had an epidural or pain meds. I don't know them or their situation, so who am I to judge? Really, it's not about me "proving" something to anyone, or even myself. I know I can do it all natural because I've done it before. No need to show I can do it again if I really don't want to. The main thing for me is that I think an epidural is scary. I am freaked out about not feeling my legs and not having control of my lower body. Also, I think epidurals (in some cases) can lead to more unnecessary interventions. I truly almost got some pain meds while in labor to "take the edge off", but then I realized what ever I took would get into my baby. I wanted him to come out alert and ready to nurse and not doped up on something I had in my bloodstream. In any other situation (like when I had surgery) I would totally get the pain meds. But that just involved me and not a little babe. Like I said, I don't want this to come across as me thinking I'm superior to anyone else for their choices. I am just looking for input/ideas from anyone to cope with the pain. Because I know there will be pain, and I'm anticipating it. It's just that the breathing, focal point idea, and all that other hubbabaloo didn't work for me last time. I want to try something else if I can. :)
I've heard about the wonders of hypnobirthing, but I just really couldn't get into the idea. Unfortunately, Chris and I are just too goofy to be serious about it. I really couldn't imagine Chris leading me into a hypnotic state without cracking a butt joke (heh, get it? Crack? Ha!). However, my sister in law has had two homebirths both using the hypnobirthing technique and had great success. I'm sure you can find a lot of articles/blogs online that give detailed accounts about whether hypnobirthing worked for them or not.
I had reservations about getting an epidural, too. That's one big needle. But after being in labor for so long and not having any sleep for two days leading up to it, I was falling asleep between contractions and waking up at the peak of the next one in excruciating pain. That pain forced me out of the fear because I had no way of coping with it.
I'd say, study up on hypnobirth, and see if you think it might work for you. If your labor progresses normally (mine did not- I hit 5 cm and started swelling back up), you can see the end of the tunnel and have a goal. If things get to crazy and you can't handle it and your brain is going to explode, well, then you can decide if you're more afraid of the epidural or the pain.
One more thing, I was actually given an increase of the epidural medication because I ended up having an emergency c-section. Ben was alert at birth, and he nursed as soon as they brought him to me in the recovery room. He suffered no ill effects from the epidural. I was able to move my toes a little about an hour after surgery (although I couldn't feel it), and I was able to walk around about midday the next day. I even walked down the hall to the nursery. To give you an idea of a timeline, I received the epidural at about 9:30 pm and got the extra for the c-section at 10:15 pm. So, not a lot of down time for me.
I tell you all this because if you're in labor and hypnobirth is not for you and you have no other recourse for controlling your pain, I hope you won't feel entirely trapped by your fear of an epidural. The epidural medication is not the same as it used to be, and very few babies suffer ill effects from it. Far more epidurals are successful nowadays than those that aren't (but those def do exist, too.)
Overall, I really hope you're able to have the birth you want. Childbirth is the most amazing thing. I'm so glad I was privileged to experience it, even if my experience was different than how I had planned it.
relax... there is an end to labor - the delivery of a great little baby. If you can 'ride the waves' of labor and look to the horizon (end) it gives you focus. - Sometimes we get ourselves psyched out about something that will actually be much less of a problem if we focus on getting past it instead of focusing on our fear of it. YOU WILL BE FINE :D remember the priesthood - great blessings there
I ditto EVERYTHING Mike's Mom said!!!!!!!!!! I love you Jamie. Mike will help you through everything. I know you can do this :)
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