Day 14

Day 14-Write a letter to someone who has hurt you


Maybe some of you were looking forward to this post. You want me to tear into someone and use a lot of expletives? I'm sure the old me would have had no problem doing that. The old me would've jumped at the chance to write a long, hateful letter to someone that has hurt me. But I just can't bring myself to do that now. I can think of about 4 people throughout my lifetime who have caused me some significant emotional pain. But what's the point of writing an angry letter and stirring up emotions that I have been trying to bury for years now? Anger is like a cancer. It can eat you up from the inside out. I know what it feels like to let anger control your life. So one day I had to make a decision. Not too long ago I learned that the only way I could truly be happy in my life was to let go. That meant not holding grudges, not dwelling on the past, and most importantly it meant forgiving people who have hurt me. When I stopped looking at situations from the perspective of a victim, I was able to understand why some things happened the way they did. If I didn't focus on myself and my pain the whole time I could actually kind of see the reasoning behind the other person's actions. A couple of those people, I'd honestly say, had some serious mental issues. Not that it justifies their actions completely, but it does shed some light on why they caused me harm in the first place. One of the other people I probably can't blame for everything because I believe I allowed them to hurt me. A "friend" from about 11 years ago was constantly verbally abusive and demeaning to me. The first time it happened was her fault. Every other time after that was MY fault because I continued to be her friend and I allowed her to treat me the way that she did. I let her opinions define who I was. I could have stopped it by walking away from the relationship, so in a sense, I blame myself. But anyway, the truth is, everyone gets hurt. I know that I have hurt people too. It sucks to be on both ends of the stick, but it happens. The only thing I realize I can do now to be happy is to control myself. I can't control someone else. If I hurt someone, I can try to make it right somehow. And as hard as it is sometimes, if someone hurts me, I have to let go. Letting go can mean forgiving and forgetting and still maintaining a relationship with that person. Other times, letting go means the only option is to cut ties with the person who hurt me or do whatever I can to forget them. I don't recommend pushing the hurt aside and pretending it never happened. I allow myself to deal with the hurt and deal with the anger but then I just have to move on. I can't hold onto it. Because the fact is, I have a future and I see no other choice but to move forward in life. You know, nobody can change their past so there's no use dwelling on it. It will only make you miserable, and that's definitely no way to live.

Well, not the post you were probably expecting, but it's all I could think about writing at this time.