Callings

I haven't had very many callings in my life. After we were married, Mike and I were called to be nursery workers for a short time. When we moved to Japan I was the Sunday school teacher for the English speakers. Upon returning to the States, I was called to be a teacher in the Young Women's organization. Then when we moved to MT, I was called to be the secretary in the Primary. (Primary is the organization of children age 3-11 years old.)

About a year later I was called to be the Primary President. This last calling has been the most challenging yet. (Not sure what a calling is? Click here.) When the Bishop of our ward extended the calling to me about 2 years ago, I was stunned. Didn't he realize I knew nothing about Primary? As a child, I only went to Primary a handful of times. I never "graduated" from Primary before going into the Young Women group. I had no idea how Primary was supposed to work or what I was supposed to do. And I have never considered myself much of a leader. I am the type of person who would rather not be in charge and make executive decisions. I am the type of person who finds it easier to be given an assignment rather than give an assignment to someone else. (cos then I just feel bossy...) And yet, I knew the calling was from God and that if He called me to that position, I would be able to fulfill my duties with His help.

I realized right away that the calling was going to be more for my benefit than the children's. I thought, "what could I possibly have to offer these young kids?" And so far, I truly do believe it has benefited me in many ways. At times it is difficult or stressful, but most of the time I feel blessed to be where I am. It seems like an overwhelming assignment sometimes. After all, I am responsible for what these kids learn at church. Their little minds soak up everything, and that realization has prompted me live my life the best I can so that I can set the proper example for them. I have been compelled to study the gospel more since I am expected to teach it. It has been a blessing for me in that regard. I have come to love the hymns from the Primary Children's Songbook (and have actually learned many of them which we sing in our home regularly.) Through my calling I have learned to delegate and rely on my counselors (which was very hard at first) and especially rely on the Lord. I have learned to have more faith. I have learned how important it is to have the spirit with me so that I can know the needs of each individual child. I know I'm not perfect, but this calling has definitely aided in my spiritual progress. More than anything, the children have been an influence for good in my life. Their innocence and faith inspire me. Those children say and do some of the funniest/cutest things. Some of the kids test my patience, don't get me wrong. :)

But even those experiences have taught me a lot. And isn't that the point of life? To learn, to grow, to gain experience, to serve others, and to make the lives of others better? I pray all the time that I will be able to touch the lives of those kids and help their testimonies of Jesus Christ grow. Because I know that being around them has certainly increased my own testimony. I feel lucky and blessed that Heavenly Father knew what I needed when this specific calling was extended to me. He knew serving with the children would help me. He knew it was something I wasn't familiar with, but that it would be okay because I would have assistance. Callings are given to us for a reason, I have no doubt about that. And I am thankful everyday for the opportunity to serve in the capacity that I have been asked to.

Ursuline Centre

I don't know why I'm fascinated with religious denominations other than my own, especially Catholicism. Maybe the unfamiliar is intriguing. I suppose I'm just interested in how other people worship and pray. So when Vessel and I went to the Ursuline Centre last month it was quite the fun experience. Mostly we just went because it was within walking distance of our house, and when you're stuck at home without a car, sometimes you're desperate to find something to do. :)

Here's V all bundled up before our walk.

Here it is in all it's..er...glory. It's about 100 years old.

The things I'm kind of fascinated with are the statues. But I have to be honest, sometimes they are a little eerie, especially statues of Jesus on the cross. Kind of gives me the heebyjeebies.

Here is a nun mannequin in her habit. It was sweet. What was even sweeter you ask? The fact that I saw a real life nun there, in the flesh! The sister said she was 92! But I didn't get a photo. Blast!

After getting a full tour we went into the chapel. Now this is what I thought was pretty cool, although my pictures really don't do it justice. I'm a big fan of the stained glass windows and painted murals. And lucky for us, V and I were there right as they started Mass. Did we leave you ask? Nope, we stayed for Mass and listened to Father Thomas preach and lots of old people shout "Amen" and "Halleleujah" and do the sign of the cross. I couldn't bring myself to partake of the communion though (not that they'd let me anyway, since I'm not a Catholic.)

V and I had fun, and hey, we killed a good 2 hours there. So by the time we got back it was V's naptime! Yay! Here is the cutie on our way back home.

Thought for the Day

Several months ago someone went off on me about how they could never be a part of my church (or any church) where people only did good things to receive blessings from God. They went on about how we should be good people because it's humane, not because we require something in return. But is it really in our human nature, as this person said, to be good "just because," without the expectation of a reward? Sadly, I don't think that is how the world works for most people. Most people don't have a job because they love to work, but because they want a paycheck in return. Most people don't plant a garden because they like to spend all day planting seeds, but because they expect (and hope) to get food in return. Some people say kind things to you just because they want your vote for a position of power. Some people (teenagers :)) usually aren't nice to their parents just because they love them, but because they want to borrow the car for the night. The world is a place where we don't get something for nothing, and usually nothing for something. Life is all about giving and taking, and unfortunately, many people are more about taking than giving. As humans, I know we are imperfect and we live in an imperfect world. But what makes one person want to be good because they just feel deep down in their heart it's the right thing to do, and another because they want something in return? That's been on my mind for awhile. Anyway, last Sunday the RS lesson was called "When the Lord commands, Do it." How straightforward is that? Just do it. Don't ask questions, don't wonder if you'll be blessed for doing it. Just do it. I was glad I went to RS that day because there was a lady sitting next to me that made a beautiful comment. I know I won't be able to remember it word for word, but she said something to the effect that, it shows a great amount of spiritual maturity when we do good things because we love the Lord and want to obey His commandments, and not because we need/want/expect blessings from Him in return. I really needed to hear that. Then I started asking myself, but what if there was no religion or society to tell us what's wrong or right, or put fear in us to be good people (or else pay the consequence...?) What would stop people from stealing, raping, murdering, etc? Our predisposition to be good? But for that person who doesn't believe in God or a higher power, where did that inborn inclination come from? Who gave it to us? (Really, I'm not asking these questions to tick off anyone who doesn't believe in God, I'm just trying to make sense of this in my mind, ya know?) So I have a hard time believing we came from germs or just appeared or evolved because it makes more sense to me that we were all made in the image of God and born with an inherent tendency to be good. But since we are imperfect mortals and we live in the world, we can be swayed to make wrong decisions. So I guess the question for me is how do we escape that? How do we become spiritually mature, as that lady sitting next to me in church mentioned? Is it just about "putting off the natural man" or is there more to it than that? Are we doing good things because we love the Lord, or because we want blessings in return? I have a hard time believing that anyone in our church is actually that selfish, but who knows? Regardless, it was a good question to ask myself, and it made me re-evaluate my life. So, what are your thoughts?

Surredering My Will

A few weeks ago I was having a difficult time regarding certain things/people in my life. I struggled to figure out what to do to fix the situation. The more I tried to remedy the problem, the worse the problem got. I was completely frustrated and I tried really hard to pray for an answer of resolution. Nothing came to mind, and then one day I felt inspired to open up a magazine that was sitting on my desk. The pages fell to an article titled “Sweet Surrender” written by Cheryl Richardson, one of the columnists of the magazine. As I read, the words struck a chord with me. “At one time or another, we all find ourselves caught in a situation we desperately want to control…Whatever the situation, times like these challenge us to go beyond life skills like critical thinking or organization. In these cases, when you truly have no sway in the outcome, only a higher, more spiritual skill will get you through: the ability to surrender.” I have always felt a deep need to control the events that occur around me. When things don’t go right in my life or the lives of those closest to me, I worry my pretty little head off trying to find the perfect upshot. So to read the word “surrender” automatically made me think “give up.” But I read on. “Knowing how to surrender reflects spiritual maturity—and it requires patience and practice. But it’s worth it. When I think about my own life, I can see that when I’m able to relinquish my will to a higher power, things are no longer a struggle; life gets easier…by releasing my grip, a power greater than myself seems to take hold to steer me where I need to go.” I came to a huge realization. There have been considerable times that I’ve prayed about this particular problem concerning a loved one in my life. I pleaded, “What should I do? Give me an answer. Tell me how to fix this.” Everything I tried seemed to backfire or make things worse. After reading this article I realized my mistake. I tried to do it by myself. I made myself believe it was all in my hands. I felt it was my sole duty to help this person. “Our source of suffering is always related to our resistance to what is. The soul doesn’t try to control life; the ego does. When your ego is wrapped firmly around a desire, your peace of mind and happiness are held hostage by an obsessive need to control the outcome. After enough pain and suffering, you’ll eventually get the message: If you don’t learn to surrender your will, you will surrender your peace.” This makes absolute sense to me, yet, I didn’t “get it” until reading this article. There are some things I just can’t control, and I have to recognize that. There is only so much I can do, and when I can’t do any more, I have to give my burden to God. I have to surrender my will to His. And as much as I’d love to just snap my fingers and make the situation okay, sometimes I can’t. I have to allow things to happen as they are intended to, rather than desperately direct the crisis on the course I believe needs to be taken. Trying to control only creates more stress in my life. “….the reality is that we will be disappointed at times. When we surrender, it doesn’t mean that we throw our hands in the air and do nothing; it means we pay close attention to our intuition so we can act on this wisdom. Then, once we’ve done what we can, we let go and allow grace to shine a light on a better path---one that brings about the result that ultimately serves our highest good.” All this time I had prayed for an answer. After several weeks of feeling rather unsuccessful in my ability to receive a reply, there was a little voice that told me to open up this magazine. My answer was here all along. I do what I can, and the rest I give to Heavenly Father. I surrender my will and allow the forces that be to take the wheel. When I can’t control what happens, I just have to live my life and hope that things work out in the best possible way. A very hard thing to do, if you ask me. But since trying this new approach, the burden I was feeling earlier has lightened. I haven’t worried to an excessive and/or obsessive degree about it. When it comes to that loved one of mine, I just have to be there for them and realize I can’t control what they do. I can only control what I do, and at this point I just need to show love and support to this person and try not to “fix” them or the situation that revolves around them. I must loosen the reigns a bit and trust the Lord and “let things unfold as they may….When we learn to surrender, we then make space for true miracles to happen.”

Good-bye Prophet Dear

We just heard about President Gordon B. Hinckley passing away tonight. It shouldn't be too surprising, I mean, the man was 97 years old. But the news is still shocking. I don't really have any memories of another prophet during my lifetime. It is so sad to see him go.... He truly was one of the world's wonderful people.