Dill Carrots

Dill Carrots

I got this idea from the Jeppsons when they had us over for dinner last week. They served dill carrots but they tasted different than any carrots I've had. Melissa told me the secret (Alma's grandma used) is to boil the carrots in Sprite. After boiling until done, strain and add butter and dill, then stir. Yum-O!

Chocolate Cheesecake

Chocolate Cheesecake
Richer than rich; for chocolate lovers only.

I was so impressed with Mike this Thanksgiving. He decided he was going to make a chocolate cheesecake to take to his parents house. He and Gavin went shopping for the ingredients together and came back to our apartment to make the delectable treat. I didn't have to worry about a thing. The boys were mixing and melting and stirring and baking....and Mike even cleaned the kitchen when he was done! Gavin was happy to take a cheesecake home to his wife Tracy, and Tracy didn't complain. Neither did I. It turned out delicious.

Taken from the Joy of Cooking

Prepare and bake a chocolate crust or buy one (we used a store bought Oreo crumb crust.) If you make one, bake it in a springform pan.

Have all ingredients at room temperature, 68 to 70 degrees F. Place a loaf pan or cake pan filled with water on the bottom rack of the oven to moisten the air. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Place in small bowl:
8 ounces bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped. (We used Ghiradelli baking chocolate bars.)
Add:
1/3 cup boiling water
Stir until the chocolate is melted and smooth. In a large bowl, beat just until smooth, 30 to 60 seconds:
1 pound cream cheese
Scrape the sides of the bowl and the beaters well. Gradually add and beat until smooth and creamy, 1 to 2 minutes:
2/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
Beat in 1 at a time, just until incorporated, scraping the sides of the bowl and the beaters after each addition:
3 large eggs
Beat in:
2 cups sour cream
1 Tablespoon unsweetened cocoa

Add the warm chocolate mixture and beat on low speed just until well blended. Scrape the batter into the crust and smooth the top. Place on baking sheet. Bake until the edges of the cake have puffed but the center sill looks moist and jiggles when the pan is tapped, 35 to 40 minutes. Turn the oven off, prop the door ajar with the handle of a wooden spoon, an let the cake cool in the oven for 1 hour. Remove to a rack and let cool completely in the pan before unmolding. Cover and refrigerate for at least 6 hours, preferably 24 hours before serving. The flavors are even more intense after 48 hours.

Thankful

Since Thanksgiving is this week I thought I'd share with you all some of the things I'm thankful for.

1. Obviously my life wouldn't be the same, let alone as good as it is, if it wasn't for Mike. He does so much for our family. I'm thankful that he works so hard in school and at his job, and at his calling, and as a father, and as a husband, and everything else he is and does. He is always willing to help me with anything, he supports me, he is emotionally there for me, he shows me affection, he changes dirty diapers, he cooks, he cleans, he washes the dishes, he displays patience and honesty and love. He is funny and smart and I love having conversations with him and he is spiritual and sweet and good looking, and he totally completes me in every sense of the word. So I am thankful for him.

2. I am thankful for our son. I believe Vessel was meant just for us. Vessel is very special and he brings so much joy into our home and into our lives. Vessel has a mild temperament which is good because I don't know if I could handle a really wild child right now! I am thankful that Vessel has always been healthy and strong, even in the womb. He brings a smile to my face everyday and I am thankful that I was blessed to be his mom.

3. I am thankful for the gospel. For some people, church and religion have no significant meaning or serves no purpose in their lives. For me, I couldn't live without it. I have known the feeling of being without the church in my life, and have known the feeling of it's presence, and I much prefer the latter. I am thankful for my testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel. Without it I don't know what I would do.

4. On that note, I'm thankful for being able to serve with the young women and the YW leaders in our ward. Being a teacher has helped me in so many ways. I have opened up more and gotten better at public speaking, I’ve made many friends, and I have learned much more about the gospel through my calling.

6. I am thankful to live in America. I know that the leaders of this country and the government can be quite awry at times, but I am thankful for this land despite all that. I am thankful for the many freedoms I have. I think the good things about living in this country far outweigh the bad.

7. I am thankful for the beautiful planet. Sometimes I look around and can't believe how beautiful it is. The flowers, the trees, the sky, the clouds, the snow, the rain, the animals, the soil, the rivers, the mountains, EVERYTHING. I love everything on God's green earth.

8. I am thankful for friends. For the first time in my life I can say that I have really good friends (this includes family as well.) Friends who genuinely care about me and my well being, friends who don’t judge or criticize me, friends who are there for me through ups and downs, who make me laugh, who are fun to be with, and who help me want to be a better person.

9. I am thankful for my body. Sometimes I really take it for granted and I know I shouldn't. I can jump and dance and sing and play with Vessel and participate in sports, and do the things that I love. I am also thankful for my senses. To feel Mike’s touch, to smell the rain, to taste chocolate, to view beautiful pieces of art, to hear music, and so many wonderful things. Even when I am sick or hurt or don’t like what I see in the mirror some days I am still thankful for my body. I am also thankful to be a woman.

10. I am thankful for all the kind people that I meet.

11. I am thankful for always having a warm bed, clothes, and food. I feel very lucky.

12. I am thankful for indoor plumbing.

13. Even though I don't like school sometimes, I am thankful for the opportunity to further my education. It truly is a blessing that we've received scholarships and grants to pay for most of our schooling. It has been a great experience to take classes and to learn and grow and develop new interests. I am thankful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Book Review--For Those of Us Who Struggle with the Past

     For a long time I’ve struggled with the idea of forgiveness and I believe for many years it was this way because my definition of forgiveness was so distorted. Growing up I was taught to “forgive and forget,” and this seemed so impossible to me. Although I tried hard to forgive, I could not forget past wrongdoings or betrayal. I held on like the last leaf that holds to the barren branch of winter. I could not let go. I would not let go. And then I read 2 books that helped me.

       
     The first book is Forgive for Good by Fred Luskin. This book put things into perspective and addressed my misconceptions of forgiveness. It made me realize that forgiving is not forgetting. It made me understand that forgiveness does not have to mean reconciliation. Forgiveness is not for the offender, but instead, it’s for the offended. It is a means to find peace within ourselves when the anger and hurt of the past has tattered our souls. I really liked this book because it was very easy to understand. The simplicity of Dr. Luskin’s words and methods were a key component for me because I can’t stand to read a bunch of medical jargon that doctors or psychologists sometimes add in the pages of their works. Although he uses examples and analogies (which I liked,) Luskin gets right to the point. I know that I can have unrealistic expectations of others. Luskin talks in depth about unenforceable rules and how to stop setting rules for other people. I think it’s fair to say that most people want to control everything that happens in their lives, and when things do not go the way they expect, it makes them angry, myself included. I love how Luskin highlights the fact that we can't control how other people act, but we can control how we react to them. I can’t force others to love me, to treat me fairly, or to never hurt or lie to me. I can't force others to give me time, affection or attention. But I can give to others those things. That realization really gave me a sense of empowerment.

 

     The second book I would recommend is Forgiveness is a Choice by Dr. Robert Enright. He suggests similar, yet different, methods of coping with anger. He also discusses a number of problems associated with harboring anger. He says that “anger affects our bodies,” distressing our adrenal levels, heart rate, blood pressure, digestive functions, and so on. The anger, if kept inside, eats away at the body and mind like a disease. There have been times that I have been so upset or emotionally hurt that I have physically made myself sick. A lot of those physical ailments other people can’t see just by looking. But when we have pent up anger it shows in our countenance. Just like when we are happy we sometimes have a jump in our step, we might smile, or we are kinder to people without even realizing it. When we harbor anger, (whether recent or lodged deep in the back of our minds) it shows on our outward appearance. We don’t smile, we might slouch, and we might just put out a “vibe” that says we’re not happy. People are extremely intuitive and can tell when something is bothering someone without them verbally making it known. There have been times in my own life when things weren’t going so well, and it was amazing to hear people comment on how I looked different (even though I wasn’t trying to look upset.) The same goes for when things were going really great in my life. People would say “you are just glowing.” I assume emotions have a way of leaking out into the way we carry ourselves and act, even when we try to suppress them. Many actions are subconscious of the thoughts going on in our minds. Unless we are really good at acting, harboring anger will show itself on the outside one way or another.

 

     Hopefully I’m not giving the wrong impression. These books are not about suppressing anger, they are about controlling anger. Enright states, “Anger, like other emotions, must be controlled. Suppressing legitimate anger is unhealthy. Continually venting anger is also unhealthy.” We need to find the balance in ourselves.

      
     So there are 2 options. Forgiving and moving forward with life is one. The less than healthy alternative is staying angry, bitter, unforgiving and completely miserable with life. I’ve come to find out that this alternative doesn’t help me or anyone else around me. I’m really learning that we aren’t forced to feel the way we do. We can take our circumstances and make the most of them. I believe people are not given anything in life that they are incapable of handling. It’s just that some people choose to handle their severe circumstances in remarkable ways.

      
     When my mom died unexpectedly, it was an enormous wake-up call for my family. Some realized that life is too short and decided to start living life with more meaning and purpose. Others in my family still have anger issues and resentment. Nobody knows exactly why some things happen to them, but I’m a firm believer that certain things happen to specific people for a reason. I should count my blessings and realize there’s option 1 which is to forgive, progress, and make the best out of bad situations or option 2 which is to remain stuck in the past continually reliving anger from minor grudges for the rest of my life. And I’m sure some of you might say that you don’t hold a grudge. Well, I thought that too, but I was wrong, or in denial. These books opened up my eyes and I’m glad I read them.

 

     One thing I thought that was really interesting was how Enright emphasized the importance of teaching forgiveness at a young age. I agree with this because if we can instill proper forgiveness principles in young people they will be able to apply the methods by the time they hit their teenage years. Now that I have a child, I want to set the best example I possibly can and foster love and affection at a young age so that as Vessel and my other children grow into adolescence they will be able to offer love and forgiveness freely instead of out of obligation. For instance, I have been around parents who teach their children it’s a must to ask for forgiveness or to apologize for doing something wrong. My sweet one year old was pushed over by an older play mate once and the mom of the bully told her child “Say you’re sorry or I’ll take that toy away!” (or lose some other privilege.) Even at this age that mom is teaching that there has to be an incentive for apologizing (not because it would be the right thing to do) and my son, although still very young, is seeing that forgiving must involve an apology. It’s easy for kids to grow up thinking that way and when they become teenagers it is already a learned thing to expect an apology or reconciliation to take place or to forgive because “that’s just what you do” or “because I said so and I’m the parent.”

 

     It’s always been hard for me to want to forgive others, especially if they weren’t apologetic. I want them to acknowledge the hurt they caused and feel sorry for it. But now I’m starting to see from reading these books that forgiveness doesn’t have to follow an apology. Forgiveness of someone doesn’t even have to be known to the other individual. Forgiveness is merely a tool that fixes the hearts of those who hurt. So I am trying hard to focus more of my attention on fixing myself, regardless of what the other person may or may not feel.

 

     There is another author, McKay, whose work I’ve been reading that has helped me lately as well. He says that “anger destroys relationships…The tissue of a relationship gets thickened and scarred. And finally you both become insensitive to pain and pleasure.” He also states that letting it out doesn’t get you what you want. “What you want is to be listened to, appreciated, cared for. Anger gets you coldness, withdrawal, and anger in return. Letting it out feels good. But it's like smoking crack: a five-minute high, followed by depression, pain, and emotional bankruptcy.

     This statement seems very true as I’ve experienced both ends of the stick. I’ve “exploded” on people before, basically letting out all my anger and frustration and it usually gets me nothing good in return. When others let out anger on me I become distant and cold towards them to protect myself. But keeping the anger in will only eat you up inside, so what do you do?

     I think you have to find a happy medium, as Enright suggests. You have to let the anger out somehow, but shouldn’t “explode” on other people. McKay suggests channeling your anger. Use the energy of feeling angry to do something positive like exercising, working in the garden, creating something, writing, playing music, etc. He also recommends listing the positive and negative consequences of getting angry or “letting it out” and at the end of the exercise you are supposed to ask yourself “Did anger get me what I wanted?” Enright talks about journal writing, which for me has been very therapeutic. I don’t share my journal with others, since it’s really for my benefit only. Channeling the anger through writing, art, or exercising has been a way for me to get the energy out without destroying a relationship (in most circumstances. I’m still working on it!)
It has been extremely difficult in past situations, but I am now carefully choosing what my mind will “rent space” to.  

     The forgiveness process isn’t easy, nor is it short and simple, but it is one of the most beneficial concepts I have ever learned. And these books have really contributed to my progress.
If you are curious about anger management and forgiveness techniques, or if you're curious to know what anger style you display check out this site.

To read pages from Luskin's book, click here.

Love

Here is my beautiful wife and awesome son. This picture was taken just before church. I love 'em both so much. Psh, they're the best!

Good as New

This chair used to be my mom's when she was a child and then it was mine when I was a child, and now it's Vessel's! It used to look like this, but we decided to strip the stain, sand it down and repaint it. The stepping stool was also mine as a child, but given to me as a gift from someone else. We thought we'd make it go with the chair. This project took longer than expected, considering that we wanted to give it to Vessel on his birthday. The sad thing is, we were so close to having it done by then, but since it wasn't, we slacked off and barely finished it this week. Thinking it would be less boring, Mike and I decided to paint it 2 colors instead of one. After taking the slats off and sanding it all down, we first put the white coats on (which actually turned out to be eggshell) and then the red. After several coats and touch ups, we finally put on the Shellac, or the sealant. Then we nailed the slats back on and viola! An awesome chair just Vessel's size! I'm sure a professional could've done a lot better, but bear in mind that we have never done something like this before. However, it was a fun project that Mike and I could work on together and a piece of history we could pass down to our son. We love it!

Our Little Helper

Ves has been climbing into the dishwasher (to help us clean the dishes of course) for months now, but I finally got it on camera, and in his birthday suit no less.

Wrangler Butts Drive Me Nuts!

Don'tcha just love the Wrangler diaper cover?

Cowboy Vessie!

Killer footwear, eh?

On his horse "Taffy."

Relationship to Food

So as I was browsing my SIL Karen's blog, I saw she had a post with 10 weird facts about her relationship with food. She didn't tag me by name, but she said if anyone reads it to do it. And I'm not one to pass up the opportunity to talk all about myself, so here ya go. :) I tag Mike, Tracy, Gavin, Bekah, Chris, Annika, Carrol, cousin Tracie, and Shelly-Chelle.

1. I love getting food samples at the grocery store. One afternoon I went to Harmon's and practically ate lunch there from the multitude of sample stations set up all over the store. And, because I'm pathetic, I'll usually go back and get another sample when the server's not looking.

2. I love to munch on crunchy food. When I want a snack I usually go for something crunchy. Like banana chips, apple chips, potato chips, tortilla chips (hey, I like chips,) cereal, vanilla wafers, goldfish crackers, Milano cookies, toffee, carrot sticks, etc. Even when I eat ice cream (my all time favorite food) it's much better for me if it's got something crunchy in it or if it's in one of those crunchy waffle bowls or a sugar cone.

3. Lumps in food gross me out. Who likes lumpy gravy or lumpy pudding, or lumpy anything for that matter?

4. I am desperate to try some chocolate covered bacon. Salty and sweet....what a great combo!

5. I hate to cook. I can do it, and when I do it usually turns out fine, but it's not my favorite thing in the world.

6. Even though I hate cooking, I enjoy watching cooking shows. I'm really starting to like Nigella Lawson. Maybe it's because she likes chocolate covered bacon. :)

7. So once in awhile if I have nothing else to do on Wednesday night I'll watch "Kitchen Nightmares" while Mike is at class. Let me tell ya, that show seriously makes me reconsider eating out at ANY restaurant.

8. This week I watched "Criminal Minds" and it was about the detectives honing in on a kidnapper who they later learned was a cannibal. Before knowing who the killer was, the detectives got together with the local church to search for one of the missing neighborhood girls. Well the killer (a member of the congregation) just happened to show up to aid in the volunteer search that day. But instead of going on the search with the rest of the group, he was in charge of making BBQ for the group to eat when they got back from searching the woods. Well, he ended up feeding that missing girl to the whole congregation, including the priest. When they finally realized who the killer was, one of the detectives questioned him in a room with the priest there. The killer said something to the effect that he had done a lot of bad things and he didn't feel like God's spirit was with him anymore. The priest tried to offer some consoling words by saying "God is in everybody." The killer just smiled and said, "So is _________." (name of the girl he fed to the people.)

My stomach was in knots and doing somersaults for the rest of the night. You know, I am sometimes paranoid that someone will do something bad to my food, like hock a loogy in my sandwich or something. But I have never thought that someone was probably feeding me a human being. And now I'll never look at barbeque the same again, let alone eat it.


Looks like I could only think of 8 things. Sorry to let you all down.

Classes

Last week I determined my school schedule for January. I’m signed up for statistics (my only required class) and my other four classes are electives. I decided to sign up with an aerobics class because not only did I need an extra credit to fill, but I think I’ll be more motivated to exercise if I know I’ll be getting a grade for attending class. I’m also taking mediation, a drawing class, and an honors class called technologies of the body. Here’s the description of the class:

Technologies of the Body The body is continually being negotiated in a landscape of ever-changing signifiers, including enhancements, exchanges, modifications and inscriptions: all instances of how we engage in 'body-work'. Bodywork includes various forms of alterations and transformations, for example, reductions, piercings, tattoos, injections, and transplantations. These practices alter and construct how the body is read, and consequently, what the body signifies. The body as a cultural signifier also includes capacities of the virtual body with the arrival of computerized, robotized, digitized, and postmodern bodies. The aim of this course is to consider and examine the argument that participation in these contemporary technologies has significantly transformed the experience of what it means to have a body. The consequences of the intersections-between technology and the body-will be explored and critically analyzed.

It sounds interesting right? If it wasn’t for Mike I wouldn’t have known it even existed. He’s the one who suggested I apply for the Honor’s program so I could be eligible to take one of the cool classes the department offers. And only the best of the best professors are allowed to teach honors courses (according to Mike), so I hope I don’t regret registering for this class. My back-up classes (in case I decide against any that I’m already signed up for) are hip hop dance (don’t judge me) and Acting 1033, at which Mike will mock me for taking both, so let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that.