The Love That Comes with Change
that started out as one & multiplied
are now silver
willowy waist strained and puffed
only to deflate
raw pain turned to utter adulation
after seeing your eyes
once orbs of muddy milk, now caramel
a heart formerly half full
is now filled to the brim
a year ago I was scared to imagine
a life with a new addition
now it frightens me to think
how I could ever live without
so afraid of change
until I recognized
the love that came with it
Your Words
We’re not blood
We’re not friends
You’re an itch I can’t scratch
Realizing too late
The hurricane disaster of
Your words
Those words…to me, once so alluring
Are now black as cancer
Precocious and poisonous, paltry and practiced
Like reading from a script
You are a fire, a degenerate liar
Satisfied with my faith
Content never to sit
At the desk behind your eyes
Between marmalade tresses, head cocked
Spitting disrespect and saturated in arrogance
My apathy annoys you
But sometimes not caring is what
A person must do to keep from hating
Supposing that indifference is preferred to asperity
Those words, your words
Pointed and poised like the tongue of a snake
They say actions speak louder than words
So tell me
What are you doing to better the world
Besides talking?
The best things of 2007 (in no particular order)
20. My growing music collection.
I made a bunch of dried oranges in my food dehydrator this year. Wrapped in cellophane bags and tied with a pretty bow, they make a wonderful and cheap gift to give a friend. Dried oranges look beautiful on a tree, but can be used in potpouri, as decorations in holiday cider, or can be simmered in a pot with orange oil, cinnamon and cloves for a great room freshener.
Caramel corn is one of my favorite snacks and this recipe is so good. So, it will probably kill ya, but we're all gonna die anyway, right? :) I got this recipe from Claire Allred. 
Makes 16 pieces.
This has to be the simplest recipe of all time. I got it from Kathy Harker.
This is my all time favorite Chex Mix and I could eat it all day.
8 oz. (2 bars) Ghiradelli chocolate (dark not milk) 1/3 cup heavy whipping cream
6 Tbsp. unsalted butter cut into small pieces
Unsweetened cocoa for coating
Bring cream to a simmer in a small saucepan. Add butter and stir until melted and smooth. Remove from heat and pour chocolate into a shallow bowl. Cool, cover and refrigerate until firm at least 2 hours. Roll mixture into 1 inch balls. Roll each ball in coating. Keep in a cool place to avoid melting.
Earlier in the month a group of us girls had our monthly “girls’ night in” get together. We all brought a little something to eat and worked on our projects and talked the night away. I wish I would’ve gotten more accomplished because I had been looking forward to that night so much. In my head I thought of all the things I was going to get done while snatching some time away from the kid. I ended up bringing some necklaces to work on, but got very frustrated since I had to undo my work several times due to silly mistakes. The company was good, although I kind of shut down socially because I was so wrapped up in my own projects. Hopefully nobody thought I was as incredibly lame as I appeared to be. The evening after that was the Young Women in Excellence program that all the girls and leaders had been working on. At the beginning we all sang a beautiful song called “Keepers of His Light” while cupping little battery operated candles in our hands. The young women set up tables to show off their personal progress and then they talked a little about their goal achievements. At the end we ate “refreshments” but is there anything refreshing about ice cream with molten lava cake? Just one more indulgence I try to rationalize because “it’s the holidays.” As good as the cake was, I think if I see one more fat and sugar laden treat I’m going to throw my cookies. From the beginning of October until the end of the year I feel like any good intentions to eat well and maintain self control goes right out the window. And then by the time mid December rolls around (yup, right now) I have no energy and get so sluggish. It’s like I can literally feel the added weight I’m carrying around and my body is screaming at me to eat a dang carrot instead of that plate of fudge. Oh, but I have no will power. Anyway, this topic is another story, so let me move on.
So the following week I spent a lot of my time addressing Christmas cards and going to the post office to send off packages or making little gifts. But mostly that week was all about getting ready for our trip to Idaho. Friday morning was hectic trying to pack and load up the car and then realizing that I had to make some last minute things before our departure. So much for leaving at 9:00 a.m. like I had planned. The whole morning I felt under the weather and it just got worse in the car since I get really motion sick. I had such a throbbing headache and nausea, I just wanted to go to sleep. Finally we stopped and I had Mike buy me a cherry Coke. Let me tell ya, that cherry Coke is a miracle drug for me. It gets rid of headaches without fail. Leaves me a little jittery, but I’d rather experience mild shakiness than have throbbing pain shooting through my skull. Once I started feeling better I enjoyed the ride a bit more. We arrived in Idaho Falls late afternoon and spent the time visiting with Grandma Miller. Of course, we played a few rounds of Yahtzee, and I must say grandma and I both did swimmingly. Not to brag (cough cough) but uh, I scored 629! That’s four Yahtzee’s baby! I now consider it one of my greatest lifetime achievements. Mike felt it necessary to stick our score sheets on the refrigerator.
Saturday morning was a big day for us. It’s the real reason I wanted to write this post. It was a big day because I was able to do my mom’s temple work! My 2 aunts from out of town and my uncle and his wife were able to be there (as well as Mike.) My uncle and one of my aunts were able to be proxies for my Grandma and Grandpa when we sealed my mom to her parents. I want to describe the feelings I had, but at the same time I don’t even know the words to use. I don’t know what to say. It was such a special and sacred event for me that I don’t want to discuss my experience in detail, but it was wonderful and I feel so privileged and blessed to be apart of it. Thanks to my aunt for getting all the paperwork together so we could finally do it. I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas present!
After Mike and I ate some yummy pasta at my favorite Italian restaurant Johnny Carino’s (the place where we had one of our first dates) we went back to my uncle’s house and just visited with my relatives. My cousin Steven was there for a while with his daughter and my cousin Dale’s daughter Wyntre (pronounced Winter) was there as well visiting with her grandma. I had never really had the opportunity to visit with Wyntre until that day, and she is so flip’n cute I couldn’t believe it. And she’s so smart and amazingly talkative for a two year old. This was about how our first conversation went.
I go into the bathroom to change Vessel’s diaper and the next thing I know she opens the door and comes inside with us.
Wyntre: What are you doing?
Me: Changing a diaper.
Wyntre: Why?
Me: Because he pooped.
Wyntre: Why?
Me: Because we all poop. Don’t you poop too?
Wyntre: Yeah sometimes, but sometimes I go pee.
Me: Oh, do you use the toilet?
Wyntre: Yeah. That’s the toilet right there.
Me: Wow, you’re a big girl using the toilet by yourself.
Wyntre: Yeah……..What are you doing?
Me: (chuckling, having already answered the question once) I’m changing his diaper.
Wyntre: Yeah, he needs a new one. talking to Vessel Hi Baby! You pooped huh! Cute baby. (giggles while patting Vessel’s head.)
I love how little children are so candid, and Wyntre was no exception.
After playing a rousing game of catch phrase we all went to bed. I would like to give props to my team for our consecutive winning streak. Sorry for your loss babe!
Anyway, Vessel slept like an angel again, and surprisingly stayed asleep for about 13 hours. Right before we left for the day, Vessel got sick and threw up all over my aunt and uncle’s hardwood floor. Mike was holding him and he described the scene as something out of the movie “the Exorcist.” I felt so bad for our little guy and didn’t even see it coming since he was completely fine the night before, all happy and smiley and energetic. After digging through the newly packed trunk for another shirt for Mike and a clean outfit for Vessel (which there wasn’t) we finally left my aunt and uncle’s house and headed north towards my Dad’s house. On our way there we stopped at the Archer cemetery so that my sister and I could visit my mom’s grave. It was very quiet and serene with untouched snow covering the ground. Despite the biting wind and icy snow up to my ankles, I felt a warmth inside that my mom was with us in some way. My sister and I talked for a few minutes about how Mom always made sure us girls had a good Christmas every year. We talked a little about how much we missed her, especially during the holidays and how it’s just not the same. I guess one of the tragic things about this time of year is that it brings a more substantial reminder of loved ones gone.
It was so good to see my sister. I have really missed her. The 3 of us had a fun time belting out Macy Gray songs in the car up to my dad’s house. Nothing like a raspy soul sista sing-a-long to brighten your mood, eh? We made a pit stop at my aunt and uncle’s house near Rexburg and visited with them for awhile.
At dad’s my sister and I exchanged gifts and I had also made gifts for my dad, Chris (my dad’s girlfriend) and my grandparents, who also came up to eat dinner with us. While Chris was making dinner she had some treats for us to munch on while we waited. She had made homemade apple juice from the apple tree that sits in the backyard of my childhood. It was yummy, and I was impressed.
It all went well except for the fact that Vessel was sick. I was hoping he’d be more sociable since my family rarely gets to see him. I tried to feed him and he wasn’t interested. After chugging down a whole bottle of diluted juice, he threw it up. And then he had one major blow out. The kid was miserable. I felt so bad for him.
He was so unhappy pretty much the whole way home. The four hour drive isn’t fun anyway, but having a sick kid in the car just makes it that much worse. At one point he threw up in the car again and then about an hour and a half away from home he had another blowout. Since we didn’t have any clean or dry clothes left for him to wear, he just had to sit there in it until we got to our apartment. At least he somehow managed to fall asleep.
When Monday rolled around, Vessel was still sick and had lots of diarrhea. He wouldn’t eat or drink anything and generally acted despondent. He was also whiny for most of the day, which was rough on Mike and me. But whaddayagonnado? That night the Elder’s Quorum presidency and their wives were invited to dinner at the Allen’s home. We hesitated going, not knowing for sure if Vessel’s anal leakage was under control, but we had been looking forward to it, so we went anyway. Amber had provided a booster seat just for Vessie and we all sat at the table to a wonderful feast. Vessel however, just wasn’t content with anything I tried to feed him. Finally Amber gave him a tall sippy cup full of juice and he guzzled it down like he hadn’t had something to drink for days, and then wanted more. I was weary giving him that much juice, but I didn’t want to give him milk on an upset stomach and we didn’t bring any of the Pedialyte he had been chugging all day. He was getting incredibly fussy and he was shivering like crazy so I unstrapped him and set him on my lap only to find out that he had just had an explosive onslaught of diarrhea that went all the way up his back and down his leg. The booster chair was covered in it and I was red with embarrassment thinking that everyone was very unimpressed with that not-so-enjoyable dinner scene. Luckily we brought an extra pair of jammies and got him cleaned up. Amber and Steve were so nice about everything and wanted to help. We joked to Amber that if Steve really wanted to help then he should call a priest.
So after that ordeal we decided we better get Vessel home and bathed and off to bed. But the second we got home something in my gut was a rumblin’ and I spent the rest of the night in and out of the bathroom. I slept in my clothes and couldn’t even manage getting under the blankets on our bed. I was so sick I could barely move except when I was forced to use the toilet. The next day Mike was feeling the same way and the 3 of us spent the entire day cooped up in our apartment wanting to die. I was so sick I thought I was going to die and I swear I must’ve lost 3 or 4 pounds. I was on the couch or on the toilet all day. Being sick is never good, but being sick and obligated to care for a sick child is a nightmare.
By Wednesday I was luckily over it and feeling fine again. Mike was still a little queasy. But poor Vessie, he is still fighting whatever bug he’s got. He’s getting better and eating more and not needing to down Pedialyte any longer. But while I was at Mardene’s house this afternoon, Mike decided to go shopping with Vessel. He was looking around the store with Vessel in the stroller, and glanced down to see something incredibly disturbing. Yup, Vessel and his stroller were covered in poo. Mike panicked and took Vessel out right away. Not having a pair of clean clothes to change him into he was forced to put Vessel in his car seat the way he was and fold up the poopy stroller and pack it away into the trunk. Glad it wasn’t me….
Anyhoo, I just wish Vessel would get better because I have more important things to do than wash his sheets and soiled clothes. Okay, really I just want him to get better because it breaks my little heart when he’s not well.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that now I’m getting a cold. Yay.
I guess I’ll end on that note. Hope everyone else is having a good December!
I must say, he was astoundingly jovial.
Here is the crime scene where the late Reginald Desmond was killed. 
Here we are dressed up as our characters. I was DeVine Desmond, wife of the late Reginald Desmond. Mike was Martinique. 
Shopping for our costumes was very entertaining. I borrowed some black stilettos and baret from a friend to match the Paris ensemble I was shooting for. I was so excited because I won best costume! Although, I thought Martinique was going to win since he was looking quite ravishing as well. 
Here are some of the attendants. Colonel Cream, Jazzy Jingles, Gavin Foreshanks, Biff Lava, Virgo, Cooter Grits, Mother Desmond, DeVine Desmond, and Martinique. 
Vess didn't even fuss. He just sat there kind of bewildered.
"The hair tickles my nose, Daddy!"
I couldn't get a real good "after" picture, my apologies. But maybe you can tell the shortness of his hair from this picture. I actually like the way his hair turned out and it's fun to rub his head. I think his shorter hair makes him look much more grown up.Do you think just like that
You can divide
This
You as yours
Me as mine
to before we were Us
if the rain
Has to separate from Itself
does it say "pick out your cloud?"
---Tori Amos from “Your Cloud”
Last night we attended the Tori Amos concert here in Salt Lake. Mike willingly went with me even though he had no idea who Tori was or what her music was like. To prepare him for the concert I played a few of her CDs beforehand. After popping in the CD Under the Pink, I was immediately taken back to 7th grade when I first heard the album. Strange how, with each album we listened to, a scene from my life played out in my memory. I remember many a day going home after a bad day at school, putting on one of her albums and laying on my bed just listening to her and that piano. I believe many of her songs literally got me through some of the most turbulent times of adolescence. I admired how fearless she seemed, exposing so much of her life through her music and lyrics. I adored her words and her talent. But I was a different person then. After listening back on her old music this week, I felt that perhaps I had outgrown it or that I had outgrown her. My taste in music has changed over time, just as my life has. I started to get the feeling that maybe her concert wouldn’t be as momentous as I had hoped. But as soon as the opening song reached my ear, I knew that her music, and yes, even her idiosyncrasies, still had a place in my heart. I may not agree with a lot of her ideas anymore, but I still appreciate her talent, because she undoubtedly has a rare gift. And the fact that Tori’s music has secured a spot on my life’s soundtrack won’t ever change.
So, the concert was amazing. It was my first Tori concert and she puts on an excellent show full of intense energy and fierceness. Her opening act was a solo guitarist by the name of Yoav, who had a remarkable sound. I told Mike that we needed to buy his E.P. and we had just enough cash to purchase it. I am eagerly looking forward to his upcoming album. Tori opened her show with Cruel from the album From the Choirgirl Hotel. After a few numbers in a silky green dress and dark hair (not sure if it was a wig) she went and changed into the most hideous silky, full-body, animal print get-up and orange hair. But I couldn’t hold it against her, because I mean, come on, she IS Tori Amos afterall, and she can get away with wearing just about anything. So, needless to say, I forgave her quickly and enjoyed the show. She played a lot of her old stuff, which made the crowd go crazy. She performed many of my personal favs, including Mother, Caught a Lite Sneeze, Cornflake Girl, and Precious Things. I also remember her playing Crucify, Pretty Good Year, Amber Waves, and Smoky Joe. She ended the night with Hey Jupiter, after a second encore. It was awesome to watch her play her “baby,” (her grand piano) as if it had been attached to her since birth. On some occasions she straddled the piano bench with one hand on the grand piano and the other on the keyboard behind her. Even Mike couldn’t disagree with her astonishing musical ability. We both had a great night….
Which is more than I can say for Conor and Jessica, our lovely downstairs neighbors who offered to watch Vessel for us. Apparently Vessel was quite the beast last night. According to Jessica, he was fine until he started to get tired, but he just wouldn’t go to sleep. He fought and fought to stay awake which made him downright angry I guess, and the exhaustion finally took over and he had a melt down. He cried and cried for nearly 2 hours until Jessica decided to take him up to our apartment and put him in his own familiar bed. He sobbed for about 5 minutes and then he magically fell asleep. We happened to walk in the door not more than 5 minutes after he eventually crashed. We met a frazzled Jessica sitting on our couch where she told us the story. This is a first for Vessel, so I feel very sorry that it had to happen to our friends. Lately Vessel has developed separation anxiety and has become very apprehensive towards strangers. My little boy is changing so rapidly. But it’s times like last night that I think we scare our childless friends from ever wanting to have children of their own. Sorry guys.
Anyway, here are some pictures and videos from the concert. Enjoy!
Mom's praying angel statuette from Mexico given to her by her best friend Candace is now in 2 pieces. 
Moral of the story: Don't let your kid play with your sentimental breakables.
I really love the design and colors she used.
Unchi! (a.k.a. "poop" in English)
Here's a plate o' food for ya. Turkey with cranberry relish, stuffing, sweet potatoes, dill carrots, frog eye salad, mashed potatoes, and a roll. That was just my first plate.
Baby's first Thanksgiving! I got these for Vessel because I thought it would be really funny for him to eat Thanksgiving dinner out of a jar. But alas, he ate what we ate, as he usually does at the dinner table.
Pie sampler plate. C'mon, you gotta try 'em all, right? Karen's delish homemade pumpkin pie, Mike's chocolate cheesecake, pecan pie, and another pumpkin pie. See, I had to compare the store bought pumpkin pie to the homemade pie. Consider it a science experiment. Don't judge me....I like sweets, okay?
Here we are on Thanksgiving day, happy as can be.
1 orange, unpeeled and preferably
organic, scrubbed
2 bags (12 oz. each) fresh cranberries
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/3 cup peeled and finely chopped fresh ginger
Cut the orange (with its peel on) into 16 chunks and discard any seeds. Working in batches, combine the orange chunks, cranberries, sugar and ginger in a food processor. Pulse to chop finely and evenly, stopping once or twice with each batch to scrape down the sides of the work bowl.
Transfer to a storage container, cover and refrigerate for at least 24 hours to develop the flavors. Bring to room temperature and stir well before serving. Serves 8 to 10.
Make-Ahead Tip: This relish improves when made in advance, since the flavors have more time to marry. Prepare it up to 3 days before serving.
Adapted from Williams-Sonoma Collection Series,Thanksgiving,by Michael McLaughlin (Simon & Schuster, 2001).
